Ohef Sholom Temple - Norfolk, VA
  • About
    • Our Clergy
    • Our Staff
    • Our Values
    • OST Board & Foundation
      • Constitution & Bylaws
      • COVID Policy
    • Visit Us
      • Library & Archives
      • Judaica Shop
      • Sanctuary and Chapel
      • Our History
  • Membership
    • Join Our Family
    • Membership Application
    • Pay My Dues
    • Sign up for ACH
    • Dues Relief Form
  • Youth & Family
    • Religious School
      • Facebook Group
    • Scholarships
    • Youth Programs
  • Adult Engagement
    • Adult Education
    • Group Connections
      • Committees & Auxiliaries
      • Men’s Club
      • Sisterhood
    • Repairing the World
  • Life Cycle Events
    • Birth (Baby Naming and Brit)
    • B’nai Mitzvah
      • Mitzvah Project Spotlight
    • Confirmation
    • Conversion
    • Weddings
    • End of Life
  • Worship
    • Services & Programming
    • Virtual Worship
    • Sermons
  • Calendar
  • Give
    • Donations
    • Endowment
    • Memorial Plaques
    • Tree of Life Leaf
    • Tree of Remembrance Leaf
  • Connect
    • Social Media
      • Facebook Page
      • Facebook Group
      • Instagram
      • YouTube
    • Temple pOST Bulletin
    • As the Temple Turns
    • Become a Candle Lighter
    • Become a Shalom Greeter
    • Meeting/Event Request Form
  • My OST

Tolerance is a double edged sword.

urjnetworkadmin April 2, 2011 OST Blog

Tolerance is a double edged sword. On the one hand, the Torah encourages us not to judge people, not to be critical of them and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We are to be welcoming, warm and accept people for who they are without being dismissive. While these attitudes are certainly virtuous and are to be encouraged, they are extremely nuanced and complicated to apply. When we are overly tolerant and accepting we compromise our own values, principles and ultimately our integrity. If we accept everyone and their choices, we dull the boundaries of what is acceptable. Aren’t there behaviors and conduct that we must distance ourselves from? Shouldn’t some choices cause us to reject those who make them?

I am not suggesting that we become intolerant of those who think differently or observe differently. Nor am I suggesting that we not keep a relationship with those who have strayed with the hope that they will return. However, if a person has acted in a unambiguously immoral, or unethical way, when we maintain a friendship, a closeness and an accepting stand, aren’t we impugning our own character and integrity?

We read every Friday night, ohavei Hashem sin’u rah, those that truly love Hashem, hate and reject evil and wrongdoing. Dovid Ha’Melech does not encourage us to hate the individual, but rather his choices. However, there are times when we can’t separate the person from the choices they make and if we truly love Hashem, love justice and honesty then we cannot and must not tolerate or accept the perpetration of that wrongdoing.

To be blunt – if a man refuses to give his wife a get, if a woman has had an affair and continues to hurt her family, if a person cheats in business, or if an individual perpetually and consistently speaks negatively about others, how can we remain friends with them? What does it say about us if we are buddy-buddy with them, invite them to our simcha or have them over for a bbq? What message do we send our children by accepting the unacceptable and tolerating the intolerable?

When confronted by this question, many respond, ‘I am not getting involved,’ or ‘I am not taking a position.’ What they don’t understand is not taking a position is also taking a position and it is one that is deeply offensive and hurtful to the victim of that friend’s behavior. We cannot afford to take the path of least resistance or maintain relationships because it would be too complicated to raise our voices in objection of their choices.

The Rambam writes – a person is a product of whom they surround themselves with. We are defined by our friends. Let’s choose wisely.

Our goal was to communicate that a synagogue in Florida has not stopped thinking of Gilad and his plight. How great is our obligation to appreciate our ability to freely visit the Kotel and enjoy all of Yerushalayim.

Related Posts

OST Blog/

Let’s be like Avraham and Sarah and change the world one person at a time.

The Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) is the umbrella professional organization of over 1,000 Orthodox Rabbis from North America and Israel.  In my capacity as Vice President, I had the privilege of participating in a one day officers retreat this week to discuss the current state of Modern Orthodoxy and to strategize a vision for a bright and inspiring future.

OST Blog/

You only get one opportunity to make a first impression.

After months of planning and design, this week we finally unveiled the new BRS website – www.brsonline.org We are very proud of its great features including a FAQ section for people who live here, those looking to move and those visiting.  We have videos, podcasts, a blog, photo galleries, and much more.  We have also […]

OST Blog/

We are a people only because of the book

Imagine the following scene playing out on CSPAN:  On a specific day of the year, the Supreme Court justices together with the member of Congress take copies of the United States Constitution and dance around the floor of the House of Representatives while singing, clapping and lifting the law books high in the air.   With […]

Contact Info

Ohef Sholom Temple
530 Raleigh Avenue
Norfolk, VA 23507

Phone: (757) 625-4295
Fax: (757) 625-3762

information@ohefsholom.org

Social Media

  • Ohef Sholom Facebook Ohef Sholom Facebook
  • Ohef Sholom Instagram Ohef Sholom Instagram
  • OST Religious School Facebook OST Religious School Facebook
  • Ohef Sholom Friends Ohef Sholom Friends
  • OSTY/JOSTY OSTY/JOSTY
Yom Shlishi, 6 Nisan 5783
© URJ 2023
Powered by

RJ Web Builder 3.0